I started using the gym to Punish myself not Push myself…

Today as I write this it is Monday. As I got up and got ready for the gym this morning, I felt the weight of the weekend on me. I felt sluggish, heavy, and full. Over the weekend we had a family pizza night, tacos, and more tacos. All. The. Tacos. We had dinner and drinks with friends and while it was all super fun and much needed, I could tell this morning I had overdone it. None of these things are necessarily bad, but what is bad, is this: I was emotional all weekend. My heart was heavy so I ate and drank my feelings and in doing that, I over did it!

Walking into the gym this morning was pretty much the same as it is every morning, but today I had the added pressure of knowing that I over snacked, over dipped and over sipped all weekend, and that pressure was telling me that I needed to work harder, run faster and basically punish myself for my bad decision making. But that’s not the relationship I want to have with the gym.

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Looking happy or pretty while lifting is NOT ALLOWED! Only serious CrossFitters here!

 Punishing my body doesn’t sound fun. It sounds hurtful, and full of shame. Here are reasons why I love going to the gym: I have awesome friends that I get to workout with. I can work hard and surprise myself with lifting heavy weights. I am a healthier and fitter me because of the gym. Going to the gym makes me happy, and as the ever famous Elle Woods once said, “Exercise gives you endorphines, endorphines make you happy, and happy people don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t!” Thank you Legally Blonde for always speaking truth to me!8f14ffc1ea8f3c41afafd5f8f724eee8--moment-quotes-movie-quotes

So as I finished my workout today I thought, “I don’t want to punish myself I want to push myself mentally.” How do we as women, moms, wives, and friends combat this feeling of punishment when we know we’ve slipped up?! Well, I am not a fitness blogger, and no one ever comes to me for this sort of advice so I went to someone who is smarter than me. Kelsey Flanagan is kind, wise, helpful and as sweet as can be. She is passionate in helping people in all walks of life to create a happier and healthier versions of themselves.

So here are Kelsey’s thoughts below…..

The relationship with most people and gyms can be unhealthy. But we can get in control of that.

How? Think about your relationship with food or anything you cling too. If you want to see a change you will first have to be AWARE of the emotion you have attached to that “thing” whether it’s gym, food, family, drugs, alcohol.  The first step is awareness.

Once you have recognized that – you then should ask yourself

“Why?” Why do I do what I do? Why do I love the gym? Why do I go to the gym? Once you have some reason and why you will start to see the pattern. Whether it’s because you feel good when you leave, you want to be stronger,  you get the spend time with your friends, you finally get an hour to yourself, or you want to work off the cupcakes you had. All of these reasons are pretty positive except that last one. So now, ask yourself  “Why do I do that to myself? What about that action don’t I like?”

It’s the question game. Ask until you finally root to the problem then come up with a solution. I have struggled with an unhealthy relationship with food so this speaks to me. I’ve taken these steps below to step back and recognize what I was actually doing. Try it out and see what you come up with.

Step 1. Awareness (Journal feelings & shifts you’d like to see and notice)

Step 2. Ask yourself open ended questions

Step 3. Recognize the root issues

Step 4. Come up with ideas for a solution

Step 5. Find 1 thing that can make your relationship with the gym just a little bit better.

Whether that is: Shifting your motivation more positive. –Giving yourself the permission to forget and forgive yourself for your actions. –Working hard everyday at the gym instead of those days you “need” to.  –Writing down your reasons why you go to the gym everyday. –Taking the time to be more mindful of the decisions and what caused them.

Understanding your WHY is something we often forget about. I’ve been doing more gratitude and asking myself, “why am I doing what I’m doing”, and “how is that working for me?” These 2 questions always lead me back to my Why. My Why is to have the energy to give the help, love, and ears people desire the most. The gym gives me energy it’s my happy place, but hasn’t always been.

Why do you go to the gym everyday or on the days you “should”? An hour to prove to yourself that you are strong, worthy, and amazing… Or. An hour to punish yourself for the decisions you’ve made… When you are aware of the different mindsets you will be able to distinguish a trend and become more aware. Appreciate your hour.

So now here I am really thinking through these things. I love going to the gym, because I know it makes me a healthier mom, a happier mom, but over all a happy and healthier me. I love the way the gym makes me feel. I feel stronger, happier, and even sexier when I go into the gym with the mentality of “getting to go” vs “having to go.” I don’t NEED to go to the gym, I get to go! I don’t NEED to punish my body. My body has already proven itself to me I am stronger than I think both mentally and physically. I like my body and sure I should watch what I eat and treat it kindly but I will now be mindful of my Whys and my actions!

I am just so thankful for Kelsey and her wisdom. She was so kind to sit with me and talk this out. As the weekends come I know that I will be thinking more and more about this and really examining my actions!

Kelsey can be found at Be Fitness Happy or you can email her at Befitnesshappy@gmail.com and while you are at it check her out on Instagram too Here!.

Alright friends, go be mindful and think about you WHYS, why are you stuffing that cupcake in your mouth? Why are you drinking that extra glass of wine? What about that extra mile or _____fill in the blank_____. If its not inline with your Why let’s ask some of those questions!

10 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

I got this idea from one of my sweet ChicTribe friends…

10 things you don’t know about me:

I come from a blended family. My parents married when I was 6 and I often forget that my stepdad is not my biological dad. I always have to think about it when it comes to medical history at any new doctor’s office.

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My family! Don’t I look just like my dad! That’s why I forget!

Jesse and I were dating only 2 months before he proposed. And he popped the question at my senior homecoming dance, well, after the dance. That means I spent my whole senior year of high school engaged! We were young and crazy, and so many bet (literally put money down) that we wouldn’t make it, but joke’s on them. Thirteen years later we are still all heart eyes for each other… most of the time.

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Jesse and I after we started dating. We were on a youth group trip, because we were still in youth group.

My cousin Melissa is my very best friend. We have fought over the years and that created some distance but have always made it back to each other. One time when we were kids she got bossy and pushed me off a recliner. My head hit the corner and cracked my head open. We talk about it all the time because she doesn’t remember it happening….convenient.  

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Cousins make the best of friends because no matter what…you’re family!

 

My life feels like it is in shambles if it not scheduled in a planner. Paper planner and on my phone. If it is not written down, it will be forgotten. My favorite app is Cozi and the planner I’ve used this year and will probably purchase again later this year is Anchored Press (it comes with devotionals in it for the week and I love having it all together!).

I don’t think I have every fully finished a Bible Study book. I always have the best of intentions but fail every time! I just started a new one and I’m going to try so hard to do all the days. Keep me accountable, k!?!

I didn’t read the Harry Potter books until I was 27 (which was 4 years ago). I feel like I missed out and should’ve read them earlier! But at the same time I am so glad I waited so I could enjoy them fully with my kids.

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Zoe obviously loved being at Hogwarts with us!

I cry a lot. I think most people who know me know this about me, but if we are just meeting and becoming friends, you should know that I cry. I just have a lot of feelings, and they manifest in tears. Happy, sad, mad; it all comes out via tears. What gets me the most are those darn Olympic commercials!

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Doesn’t everyone cry while watching their children parade around a restaurant with Lilo and Stitch?!

I didn’t enjoy a normal cup of coffee until I moved to Texas five years ago. Prior to moving here I worked at a really fun coffee hut in Alaska where we made delicious drinks full of syrup and milk with shots of espresso… like starbucks but WAY better. So when we moved to Texas I bought a coffee pot and started becoming an adult.

I collect Starbucks ‘You Are Here’ mugs. My mom and one of my sisters collects them too so it’s fun to compare. I’m not sure how many I have but Jesse just had me reorganize our coffee cabinet to clean out some older, non-starbucks ones. Here’s the kicker though: I don’t really enjoy Starbucks coffee, just their mugs!

I know. It’s a problem. That’s a lot of stinkin mugs! But I see them and I think, “Ok Starbucks! Take my money!”

I grew up a Southern Baptist pastor’s daughter. There was a short time when we weren’t in church but for the most part my childhood was centered around the church building, and I loved it. Sure, there were times when we had some unnecessary pressure put on us, but I feel like growing up as a PK (pastor’s kid) was fun and it taught me about community in a really unique way. Do I still have issues wearing tank tops to church? YES.

Man, this was actually pretty hard! I tend to overshare so to think of some unknown things could’ve gotten dicey. But there you have it, a little bit about me!img_5779

Big thanks to my friend Prue over at House of Skirt blog for letting me snag this idea from her! Go check her out on her blog and on Instagram @the_house_of_skirt

Disney World in a Nut Shell

Oh my goodness, I feel like I haven’t sat behind my computer in ages. Mostly because I haven’t! We got home on last Monday from a ten day family vacation to the Most Magical Place on Earth, DISNEY WORLD.

We met ALL the Princesses. Merida was one of my favorites

I have decided that I am no better than a child while walking down Main Street USA gazing up at Cinderella’s castle with stars in my eyes. You can just feel the joy, the magic, and the happiness. It just makes me smile, and to experience it this time with all three of our kids just added to the experience. I have a little video of the kids walking around the corner and seeing the castle for the first time and Zoe’s mouth literally falls open. It was so much fun! I wanted to use this post to share just a few of our favorite things about this trip:     **In no particular order!**

Disney World 2017


  1. We tried to set the kids up for the character interactions as best we could. We used a really neat Disney Animated Encyclopedia and had the characters sign their page, but on each page before we left we wrote down questions for the kids to ask the characters. We wanted to keep the experience more than just an autograph and a photo. I was really proud and excited when the boys would ask the questions and do their best to keep the conversation going. One of my favorites was when Titus asked Mickey, “When are you going to propose to Minnie?!” then he followed it with, “If you don’t she’s going to find another mouse.” Mickey made it so much fun and we all giggled about it the rest of the day.
  2. Bippity Boppity Boutique, somehow Zoe found out about this on YouTube Kids. We planned this to be her birthday present and she was so excited. It also worked at that when we scheduled the appointment (last minute… because it was on me to set this up, not Jesse) there was availability at the Castle. So in we go; she changes into a beautiful little gown and I cry because I’m seeing this girl grow up before my very eyes. I know that some day soon I’ll be helping her into a wedding gown and my heart just cannot handle that! Then she gets hair and makeup and her nails painted and she’s just soaking it all up and loving every minute. I loved this time alone with her because I was able to take a step back and really see her. My beautiful little girl who has overcome so much. She’s a fighter with the glitz and glamour of a princess.

  3. One day while we were walking around Jesse said, “I am going to thank or say hi to every cast member (the people who work for Disney) by name.” So he did, and the boys and I followed suit. It was so funny to hear Zeke yell, “Thanks Bob” randomly while we were in line or after we were handed food. I hope it helped our boys to overcome some fear of talking to adults and I really hope that it gave the Cast Members a little bit of a smile.
  4. As we walked into the Magic Kingdom one day, a Cast Member walked up to Zoe (who was wearing a her princess dress) and asked for her autograph. She signed her name and then curtseyed. It was SO cute!
  5. One of my favorite characters to meet was Chewbacca. We took some pictures and he was observant and noticed Jesse and me signing to Zoe. He looked to Jesse and asked *In sign language* if she was deaf. Jesse responded Yes, and then Chewbacca asked Zoe what her name was. She was so shocked to see him signing she just smiled SO SO big. It was so neat and Jesse caught it all on video. Here’s the Link Chewy Signing.

    He gives the best hugs!!

  6. Titus is by far our most timid kid when it comes to rides. He straight up jumped off of one in DisneyLand and didn’t even care! So when it came to some of the big rides, like Expedition Everest he was nervous. In just a casual conversation he mentioned being nervous to a cast member and she said, “Go try, if you do it I’ll get you a Mickey Ice Cream bar.” That ice cream bar gave him the courage he needed and he did it!! He went to her and she paid up, she was so excited with him and it was just so neat to see her invested with him.

We ate pizza while sitting in the grass at our hotel. We laughed over silly jokes that weren’t really funny. We played, we walked A LOT, and we were together non-stop. We watched our boys interpret for their sister, and watched their eyes light up during the fireworks. But that doesn’t mean it was always magical; I called one child a snotty brat, two of our kids had a fist fight in line, and one of them was the maddest princess of all time. Ten days was a long time to be gone but I think it was so good for us to be in “the bubble” with each other. The outside world didn’t matter. It was just us five with some Princesses, some Jedi’s and a Mouse.

A dream come true! MOANA!!!!