God’s Plan > Mine By Cleere Cherry Reaves

To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; please who cherish understanding will prosper.

PROVERBS 19:8 NLT

It was a beautiful day, and the playground was packed. My son, Sledge, and I strolled and enjoyed watching other families play made-up games and get their energy out. My eyes landed on one little boy at the top of the climbing structure. Glancing at his mama, I could see her frightened face as she tried to redirect him. Sure enough, his stubbornness to do as he pleased meant that he took a tumble. I then watched the mother cleaning up her son’s scrapes and drying his tears. I wish it weren’t the case, but as I watched this child, I saw myself.

The truth is, it’s hard to have a teachable spirit. It requires a foundation of humility, a willingness to be wrong, and a constant belief that godly wisdom is far superior to the desires, prayers, and temporary longings of your human heart.

This week, there will be countless moments when you’ll face this decision: Will you hold tightly to your pride and how you’re perceived, or will you walk in humility, choosing to receive God’s highest and best for your life as you accept His correction? Whether the teachable moments take place between you and your boss, you and your spouse, or just between you and Jesus, being a student is one of the most powerful roles you get to claim as a child of God. Perfection is not the goal; progress is. Popularity isn’t the goal; legacy is. Impressing the world isn’t the goal; living impacted by Jesus and His truth is.

These truths, if you really believe them, can change everything about your week. The rich and abundant life you have been promised and the one your heart deeply desires will always be found on the other side of refinement, no matter how painful or intense it may feel.

Sometimes you’ll want to throw in the towel. In those moments—or seasons—ask the Holy Spirit for endurance, patience, and a deeper hunger to live like Jesus. He will help you dig in and dig deep.

The choice to have a teachable spirit means operating in the belief that God is God, and you are not. He is the Teacher and you are the student. Receive His correction as a love letter to your soul, calling you back into the shadow of His wings and reminding you that His definition of “more” is the life you want to live.

DECLARE OVER YOUR WEEK:

1. I will receive constructive criticism with a humble and teachable spirit.

2. I will declare that my hands are open and my heart is willing to go wherever He leads.

3. I will remember that God is the game changer in my life.

4. I will trust that God’s will is for my good, even when I don’t understand what He is

doing.

5. I will look forward to the life God has for me. Every day is a blessing.

Want Happy Kids? Empower Them In 4 Key Areas by Amy Lowe

We may have only just officially entered into the summer season, but we’ve been running

WinShape Camps for a month already. And in that one month alone, we’ve already seen

kids’ lives change.

Some of the connections our campers make are dramatic, and obviously providential:

Campers arrive struggling with grief or family strife and are miraculously paired with a

counselor who’s known the same adversity. Witnessing such connections is humbling and

wonderful, every time I see it.

But these sorts of obviously transformative experiences aren’t the only ones I see over

the summer. I see some campers leave a better version of themselves, a little happier, a

little more grounded, a little more aware of God’s love for them — in short, I see them

leave empowered.

This isn’t by accident. We invest in our campers intentionally, at every level. Every one of

our staffers is there because they want to be there, and they want to connect with the

campers. And those campers thrive when offered the opportunity to connect

authentically with a community of adults and peers who genuinely care about them and

whose faith guides their lives.

But over the years, I’ve realized that there are four essential areas of development that

require — and receive — our special attention at camp. These areas of development, and

the ways we invest in them, can be applied to any child anywhere.

Social empowerment

Social empowerment is probably the most obvious on this list. Of course camps would be

social! But it’s important to note that we can’t make our campers socialize or connect with

other kids. Empowering them socially is much more complicated than mandated

icebreakers.

Instead, it looks like adults who model good relationships and work hard to get their

designated group to bond. It looks like opportunities to connect organically and

authentically with other kids in a safe, fun environment. It can also look like safe, healthy

conflicts — and safe, healthy resolutions to those conflicts.

Social empowerment is, at its heart, about giving your child the social models and

opportunities they need. Campers surprise me every day with their capacity for joy and

friendship. They often just need to be given a chance to embrace it.

Emotional empowerment

Social and emotional empowerment are closely linked, since both center around the

quality of the relationships available to a child.

But where social empowerment is largely about stepping back and letting kids blaze their

own path in a safe space, emotional empowerment’s emphasis is much more often on

being a safe space. It takes a lot of preparation to be able to be a child’s safe space, too.

At WinShape Camps, we invest beforehand in education and training to make sure our

camp staff can listen sensitively, prudently and charitably to our campers. We make sure

they’re prepared to help field concerns as commonplace as friend disputes or as

vulnerable as issues of self-harm.

When we sit with them, we can help them think through their own experience, talk

through it, and eventually self-regulate or seek the proper help. Empowering our children

emotionally is very often about teaching them how to be vulnerable — and that they can

be vulnerable, without their world falling apart.

Spiritual empowerment

It’s easy for campers to open their Bible every day at camp. But what about when life gets

busy, and they’re back home? What about when nobody around them is opening a Bible,

or talking about Jesus?

Spiritual empowerment helps show kids that their faith can and does seep into every part

of their lives. Tie Jesus and your faith into every single thing you do. Bring up the Lord

freely and openly. Just seeing a camp full of cool 20-somethings whose faith matters to

them goes a long way to convince a young camper that they, too, can own their faith.

Imagine how much more important the example of a loving, faithful, joyful parent could

be.

So if you want to spiritually empower your child, show them just how much your own walk

with Jesus matters to you. Don’t let your faith get stuck in a box that you only open on

Sunday mornings. Let it wash over every part of your home and make it a regular topic of

conversation.

Academic empowerment

There are a lot of things campers learn while they’re with us. One of the most important

things is never, ever found in a textbook: It’s resilience.

Resilience isn’t just an ability to withstand physically or emotionally difficult things; it

applies to everything—even academics, for example. If a resilient student encounters a

math problem that has them truly stumped, they keep trying. They are persistent and hard

to discourage.

Empowering our kids academically starts not with a study program but with a relationship

to the world that lets them say: “I am capable. I can figure this out.” And with time, they do

figure it out.

And while I think camp is a uniquely powerful way to empower our kids, the ways we build

them up can be translated into any home, and into any relationship.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, [a]nd when he is old he will not depart from it,”

we read in Proverbs 22. Give them the tools they need most as children, and they will

flourish for the rest of their lives.

Amy Lowe is the director of WinShape Camps for Girls and oversees WinShape Camps for

Families.

Whats on Mandi's Menu

As a mama of both twins and triplets, planning meals can be a challenging task! Feels like everyone is ALWAYS eating.  I'm pumping around the clock to feed the triplets, but now we are exploring solids one time per day.  I typically will give them a jar of purees and one or two true solids to try as well.  Usually, it will be something leftover or something I'm currently eating.  They are the easy crew in my opinion though...our toddlers are the tough duo.  Anyone else have picky eaters? These boys used to eat anything and everything in sight and then something changed! I know it's common for toddlers to be picky, but I feel like the switch happened when I was pregnant with the triplets, and I always tell my husband it's because I gave them free reign because I was so SP sick! I just wanted to them to be fed and didn't care what.  Now, I'm just trying to get them to try a bit of anything, even if they don't eat it as an entire meal, just a single bite is a win in my book.  Our triplets take a catnap from 5 to 6 every evening, so if I can't prep, make, AND eat dinner in an hour, it's no go in our house! I strive for quick and easy, therefore minimal ingredients.  

 Family Dinner Favorites: Korean Beef Bowl, Gnocchi Skillet Bake, Chicken Taco in the crockpot 

KOREAN BEEF BOWL 🍲🍲🍲

Ingredients:

·         ginger to taste 

·         1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil 

·         2 pounds ground beef

·         1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

·         1 teaspoon garlic powder

·         1 teaspoon onion powder

·         1/2 cup coconut aminos

·         4 cups cauliflower rice or white/brown rice 

·         6 cups greens of kale 

·         Sliced avocado

·         ¼ cup mayo

·         Siracha sauce

Instructions: 

Brown ground beef with all seasoning and coconut aminos. Prepare rice of choice.  Put Kale in bowl, top with rice, protein, and avocado slices.  Mix mayo and siracha together for the finishing touch to drizzle on top.

GNOCCHI SKILLET BAKE 🍝🍝🍝

Ingredients:

·         32 ounces Gnocchi

·         1 tbsp olive oil

·         3 cloves Garlic minced (I just buy the jar of minced garlic)

·         2 lbs ground turkey 

·         24 oz jar Rao’s Tomato basil sauce 

·         1/4-1/2 cup Water

·         1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese

·         1/2 tsp salt and pepper

·         1 tbsp basil

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350. Brown and season ground turkey.  Boil gnocchi according to the package.  Combine turkey, pasta sauce, water, and gnocchi.  Stir.  Top with cheese and cover, place in the oven for 12 minutes. 

CHICKEN TACOS 🌮🌮🌮

Ingredients:

·         4 chicken breasts

·         Can of corn

·         Can of black beans

·         Packet of taco seasoning

·         Jar of Hernandez salsa verde

Instructions:

Place chicken breasts, taco seasoning, black beans drained and rinsed, corn drained, and jar of salsa verde in the crockpot on low for 6 hours or high for 3 hours.  Shred chicken with a fork or mixer, serve over rice, lettuce or in tacos! 

The Power of Story | Jennifer Jones

Have you ever seen the 2011 movie, The Help, based on a book written by Kathryn Stockett? While I do not always love movies that depict such a traumatizing time in our history in a “feel-good” kind of way, and I know there is some aversion to a White woman writing about this period in our history, I do love that this movie demonstrates the power of story, which is why it is still one of my favorites.If you haven’t seen this movie, here’s a snapshot: Based in Jackson, Mississippi, in 1963 during the Civil Rights Movement, an aspiring journalist decides to write a book from the point of view of the maids, then known as “the help.” She hopes to expose the racism they faced while working for White families.I won’t spoil the movie, but the focus on relationship and story is strong, and it’s what I’d love for us all to focus on more in the current racial climate. We should remember what we are currently experiencing and witnessing is an extension of an unreconciled and unresolved history in the United States of America. I believe we can shift history through the power of storytelling, just as this movie beautifully illustrates.One of the most painful parts of the story is when a maid is fired from a family for using their guest restroom—yes, the guest restroom. Throughout the movie, the mother neglects her young daughter, while the maid’s relationship with the young girl is highlighted as special. When the maid  is fired, the young girl is devastated. This is a real-life scenario, and it’s part of the story we tend to ignore. We tend to focus on adults raising children with racists ideals, but I challenge you to think of the children who were adversely impacted by this kind of abrupt and major separation and loss. Maybe those children were raised with Black maids they held dear. Maybe they were conflicted about what the adults in their lives were doing and saying. Maybe their hearts were broken at the sight of their beloved caretakers being mistreated, or maybe they noticed the difference in how the maids were treated compared to people that looked like them. Maybe they grew up to be that journalist in the movie who utilized her privilege and the power of story to actively engage in the fight against racism, someone willing to amplify Black voices. Maybe they are you, and I want you to know your story is significant.For the purpose of this blog, I encourage you to think about the children. The Black children who never had the chance to bond with their mothers as they should have, and the White children who nursed and bonded with their Black maids who they saw treated as less than as they grew into an understanding of relationships. Would Black mothers and children and the Black family ever recover from such disconnection? Would White children succumb to the plague of racism, or would they be scarred by the cruelty inflicted on people they grew to love? Talk about generational trauma. Where does all this trauma go when we cannot, or choose not to tell our stories? It affects us all.

We must find the stories that connect us as much as we find the stories that show us the nature of our sinful hearts. There has to be a safe space for White people to tell their stories, too. The hard to hear, heartbreaking ones.

I launched The Shush Your Shame Podcast this year to provide a safe space for women to share their stories of overcoming shame, and on Episode 003 a friend of mine sat down with me virtually to share her journey of becoming anti-racist. She was open and honest in a challenging and refreshing way. One thing she said that continues to stick with me is that when it came to race and racism when she was growing up, it wasn’t so much what was said, but that it wasn’t talked about. Still, something in her was curious and sought out connection, even in her discomfort around race and having grown up in predominantly White spaces her entire life. 

My own mom has shared about their Black maid growing up. Her name was Carlela, and my mom adored her.  When she grew up, my mom married a white man initially to appease her family but was divorced soon after. She married my Black father despite her family disowning her. Carlela is pictured in the photo album of my mom’s first marriage. Her maid was considered good enough to care for her and keep her family’s home, but a Black man was not good enough for her to love. I’m so glad my mom chose love.

What stories are you holding on to that could unlock generations of healing? 

Much like we do in therapy, we discover telling our stories out loud in a safe space helps us become more connected with ourselves and others. For me, when I hear stories, especially when they are difficult to hear my heart is moved toward that person.So, the next time a conversation about race is on the table, look at it as an opportunity to connect. This is where I actually encourage you to go with the feeling(s) — not to forgo the facts, but to create a bridge of connection to our humanity. Ask yourself:

Am I hearing this person’s heart? What is their heart saying?

What about this story can connect us? Which part connects my heart to theirs?

Am I listening to understand, or am I listening just to hear and respond? Hint: Listen to understand.

If my heart is not moved toward this person, what is causing the blockage? What part of my story, or wound, is being poked at?

If a wound is being prodded, decide not to respond in that moment. Simply listen and validate. You may say in a warm tone, “I hear you,” or, “I hear you. Something is coming up for me, but I can’t quite put it into words yet. Can we revisit this after I have some time to think?” Find a safe space to begin doing your own work and telling your own story. You may do that through journaling, in therapy, or with other friends who have vowed to become anti-racist, etc. I will leave you with this Brené Brown quote:

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. Without story, we lack the connection for which God created us. Imagine: God left us the Bible, a collection of stories, to connect us to Him and His love for humanity, to help us reconcile ourselves to His majesty and spend eternity with Him. Likewise, our stories connect us and reconcile us to one another now! When we think of it this way, becoming anti-racist is not optional. It’s a choice to connect, to turn generational trauma into generational healing. It’s Kingdom work.

Shush Your Shame,

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Jennifers story so inspirational. A story really does have the power to change lives. Click here Jennifers blog, click here Biola Center article for marriage and relationship and click here for her instagram!!

Do you want to write for Jeanettes blog…

An Intuitive Approach to Health| Amy Melle

The word HEALTH can be so intimidating. All sorts of things start to fly into your head.  Am I eating the right food? How much exercise should I be doing? Am I even healthy?  These thoughts can easily turn negative, and can start to focus on numbers and the way your body looks. This is why so many people feel stuck in these continuous cycles of dieting, body shaming, and negative self talk. When I took an intuitive approach to health, I started to see everything in my life change. 

Complete mental shift. What does that even mean?  Mental shifts are the change in consciousness and our emotional state. That means we need to start looking and assessing how we think. What do we think when we look in a mirror? When conflict arises? When something does not go our way? When something great and exciting happens? For me, this  was stopping the negative self talk and body shaming that I once did, and instead,  talking to my body from a place of love. I literally look in the mirror and thank my stomach for growing two incredible humans, my legs for taking me everywhere I need to go, and I tell my body how much I love and appreciate it. Your mind has complete power over your life -  don’t mistake that. I also had to shift my mentality around physical activity. Physical activity for me a few years ago was from a place of hating my body, working off food choices I labeled as “bad,” and wanting to be “skinny.” Now, physical activity is something I do because I feel strong, brings a great community, helps my mental health, and my sleep. I constantly surprise and push myself in the gym and that just makes me feel so, so good. 

The World Health Organization's definition of Health is: Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. I completely believe our health is not just defined by the food we eat and the exercise we get. Health is so much more. Here are a few questions we should think about. How are your relationships with friends and family? What kind of spiritual practice do you do? What kinds of emotions does your job bring you? What do you do for YOU that brings joy to your life? What kind of people do you surround yourself with? All of these questions probably brought you so many different answers and thoughts. These are all areas of our lives that we should be investing more time. We need to make sure we are being more intentional as this will help us to become our healthiest selves. 

My last thing is about creativity and our mentality in the kitchen. When most people think about getting healthy, they start to think about what foods to stop eating. I like to take a different approach. Ask yourself, “What food am I NOT eating that I should ADD into my diet?” This will start to crowd out some of those foods you may label as ‘bad’ with colorful, fresh foods. The kitchen can be a very intimidating place for people who don’t have much experience there, but meals can truly be so simple and so balanced at the same time. For me, it is a place of creativity. I wanted to share some of my favorite and most popular recipes with you guys, in hopes that you give one a try! I take a simple, balanced approach to recipes and provide a plethora of different recipe types, such as, full meals, munchies, dairy-free, gluten-free, meatless options, soups and more - there are options for every lifestyle!

Amy Melle

Health is so much more than the food on our plate and how much we exercise, I hope you leave today with a few takeaways! 

1. Speak to your body from a place of love

2. Shift the way you think and perceive things

3. Fill your cup in different areas of your life

4. Experiment in the kitchen 

5. Find some sort of physical exercise that you enjoy doing! 

Shifting your mentality, self-love, deeply assessing areas of our lives, and confidence in the kitchen takes work and time. When you get to that place of feeling good, mentally and physically, my gosh, it feels so refreshing. I believe that an intuitive approach to health is something that creates generational changes in our families, long lasting effects on our health both mentally and physically, brings us healing, and is a sustainable lifestyle change.

Hey y’all I am Amy aka @mellesmunchies. I am a Texas based food blogger with a focus on simple, no fuss meals and munchies. I am a wife and mama to two beautiful girls that are quite literally my mini me’s. I preach a balanced lifestyle and mental health. Recovered binge eater and body positive advocate. I am a certified Holistic Health Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. I have a passion for intuitive eating and helping others through their health journeys!

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Amys story so inspiring, health shouldn’t be scary or intimidating. To here more from Amy click here for her instagram!!

Do you want to write for Jeanettes blog…

All Rise| Jennifer J. Jones

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -Mother Teresa

I will add that this includes judgment of self.

I'm more of a homebody, unless I'm leaving the house to reach a destination that will land me back inside somewhere. While I've been home and physically and mentally up to it, I try to get Natalie out of the house to play. I have taken her to the park when the weather permits it. The past couple of times, I took her to indoor play areas. The compromise is real. There's one at Chick-Fil-A and a McDonald's near our house. Yesterday we went to McDonald's to eat and play. Well, she played. I watched while I held Nasir in the Boba. He sleeps just like a baby in that thing.

I am kind of weird about small talk. It makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes we run into people we just connect with. There was a boy who entered the play area, who Natalie was immediately drawn to. He was probably about 10 or 11 years old. He was so helpful and sweet to her while they played. Children read people well. A few minutes later, in came his grandmother. As she entered, her strawberry shake dropped from the tray she was carrying. She had such a positive attitude about the whole situation. I was immediately drawn to her energy. I watched her interact with her grandson. I'd watched him interact with Natalie. My spirit was pricked. I wanted to let her know her grandson was so polite, so I did! Take that, Comfort Zone! She laughed a little as she said she was surprised. I assured her he was. She continued to make small talk with me, and we ended up talking the whole time we were there. It wasn't a long time, maybe 20 minutes or so, but it was meaningful. I sense that it was for her, too. She asked me questions about my family and my life, and she shared much about her family and her life. She told me she was 70 years old. I told her she was blessed! And I don't remember what cued her, but she told me she isn't sure she'll be around in a few years; at the moment I cannot recall what it was she was referring to when she said she "probably won't make it past a few more years." I think I was just stuck at the thought of her feeling that way. She went on to share with me that she has 6 children by 4 different fathers, none of whom helped raise their children, multiracial, two grandsons, one has Autism. She worked 4 jobs to raise her kids and retired from Disneyland.

I think I reminded her of her daughters. She reminded me of my mom. Our lives definitely have some parallels. It felt easy talking to her. I knew I'd take some things away from our encounter, so I was soaking it up. What struck me the most was that I had no feelings of judgment toward her when she shared certain details. Why did it strike me? Am I that judgmental? Wait...Are you judging me? Ha! Well, I would say, yes, I am, because we all are. And I would say, "Yes," because I used to be quite judgmental, especially regarding specific issues, until: life! What I noticed, though, and what I have pondered on since that divine meeting--because God is always in the details--is this judgment thing. Do you ever find yourself sharing something that you've already judged yourself on, and part of you is waiting for the other person to co-sign on your self-judgment, and part of you is hoping they'll reassure you that it's nothing to be ashamed of? In our hearts, we put ourselves on trial and make those around us the jury. And our mouths put our hearts on display [Pastor Botts; ref.: Matthew 12:34]. Think about it. I honestly hadn't thought about it this deeply until today, after having steeped my mind in what she said, since yesterday.  Let me break it down:

When she told me she had 6 children, particularly by 4 different fathers, I could see and sense her inviting me on to the bench in the courtroom of her heart. But she was already sitting there. She was the judge. I was the jury. I gently reassured her, without words, just gestures, that I was there and following her story. It felt natural to me, and the conversation continued to flow. The reason this is poignant to me is that it is really easy to judge that story. The single mother with multiple children and multiple fathers who aren't around. All rise! Right?! I remember struggling with this notion when I knew I needed to leave the relationship with my first born's father. Growing up, my mother always made it clear that she was proud that all of her children were by my father, that we all have [or had, as marriages have ensued] the same last name [although my father had 5 other children from a previous relationship...hmmm...I digress]. This was important to my mother, and that's okay. For whatever reason, however, it became a pigeonhole for me as an adult who needed to make healthy decisions for my own life. I remember knowing what I needed to do, but thinking how awful it would be to have children with different fathers and different last names. I hop-scotched between leaving for the betterment of me and my daughter's overall well-being, and staying to maintain this image of what is good and right that was ingrained in me. After fasting [literally], much prayer and support, I am thankful that I chose the former. I now have three children, and it has been challenging dealing with my oldest daughter having a different last name than everyone in our home. It's an ongoing conversation we have when she brings it up. It's something my husband and I talk about. It's hard to describe exactly how I feel about it. A few emotions, I'd say. But, it's not the end of the world, and I wouldn't change the decision I made to move on from something toxic just to avoid these conversations and these emotions.

I hope the woman at McDonald's felt the grace I held in my heart for her in those moments of sharing. I realize I finally gave myself grace, too--the very grace I extended to her. As a matter of fact, as she told her story, my admiration for her strength was ever present. It still escapes me, after thinking and writing this long [grrr] as to what prompted her sentiment that she won't be around much longer, but I hope she felt alive after opening up to me. I hope she reminded herself of how amazing she is and how much she has to live for. I hope her self-judgement heard the jury's verdict in that McDonald's play area yesterday: The jury finds the defendant: Guilty. Sentence: Time served! She is 70 years old, people! 7-0. Seven...zero. Se-ven-ty. Seventy! Locked in a prison made of walls built by her own conscience. For too long. Lord, I pray she is liberated now, or very soon. It's time to forgive ourselves for the decisions we made when we didn't know any better and move forward to enjoy a fulfilling life. We've done the time, and sure there are consequences that linger throughout the years. Consequences aren't meant to be a prison, but a reminder to keep us on the straight and narrow, a reminder of how far we've come from where we've been. And surely, there is a time, place, reason and season for judgment. Judgment is not bad in and of itself; judgment is good when used well. As I shared with a friend recently, our feelings are valid, but feelings are fluid--something I have to remind myself of often--so we shouldn't hang on to them beyond the point that they no longer serve a positive purpose. Get off the bench! Court is adjourned!

Shush Your Shame, 

Jennifer J. Jones

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Jennifers story so true. Its so easy to judge not just others but judge ourselves. To hear more from Jennifer click here!! for her blog, and here for her instagram!!

Do you want to write for Jeanettes blog…

A Redemption| Cristina Emigh

I met him when I was a naive 16-year-old, my first love.  He was popular, cute, and drove a nice truck and our relationship moved fast, so fast in fact that a few months into it – I knew that my body wasn’t right and found out I was pregnant.  After weighing our options, we decided to place the baby for adoption.  At 6 months pregnant, I began to bleed profusely and was admitted into the hospital.  The doctor informed me that I had a condition called placenta Previa and with bed rest, we would be fine. During the ultrasound, I was shocked to see this baby flailing about inside of me.  As the doctor discussed my condition, unaware of the adoption plan,  he kept referring to this baby as “my son”.  A boy was growing inside of me. It was then and there that I decided to parent this unborn baby, and it was there that my boyfriend broke up with me.

The remaining months of pregnancy were some of the loneliest of my life, but eventually, I went into labor and gave birth to Joshua.  My boyfriend found out about the birth and came to the hospital to meet his son; he promised he had changed and wanted me back.  We left the hospital a family of 3 and as soon as I turned 18, we were married. My greatest dreams of a perfect little family were coming true.

 The sad reality is that misplaced dreams can often turn into nightmares.

It wasn’t too long into the marriage that the abuse began. Verbal and mental at first and eventually it turned physical. I endured it because I so desperately wanted my family to work out and he always promised to change, and I believed him. I then became pregnant with our daughter. Now that I had a little girl, every fiber of my being did not want her to experience the things that I had in a relationship.  My expectations began to change and I knew I had to get us out. When they were 6 &10, I left. The journey to single motherhood had begun. This time in my life was utterly confusing to me. While I knew I needed to leave, I was scared and lonely. One fateful night while I was feeling especially vulnerable, I ended up in the arms of my now ex-husband and spent the night with him.

 Several weeks went by and I knew that my body “wasn’t right” once again and the pregnancy test read “positive.”  But this time, there was no way that I could continue this pregnancy under these circumstances, so I did what I had been told was OK to do because I had a choice – and I chose abortion.

On the day of the procedure, I can remember how cold I was, literally shivering in my seat, yet feeling that nervous sweat drip from my underarms. Several women and I sat on a metal bench in a waiting room – wearing nothing but paper gowns. One girl – probably 16 or 17 was sobbing, and I completely tuned her out.  I was attempting to disconnect myself from the situation, so I ignored her. This fact should have alarmed me more than anything as I am a very compassionate person – but not with her.

My name had finally been called. At last, I could get this done and over with and regain control of my life!

I was ushered to a medical room and immediately an oxygen mask was placed over my mouth. I paid extra for this treatment; I didn’t want to be awake while the procedure was being done.

Ignorance is bliss.

 When I woke up, I was in a different room, again with several women, laying/sitting in some chair/cot contraption. Some were crying, some were still passed out – it was all very…unnatural. When the nurse saw that I was awake, she handed me graham crackers and juice. I was grateful because I was nauseous and hungry – PLUS I loved graham crackers.

My parting gifts were ibuprofen and an instruction sheet on how to care for my body after the procedure and more graham crackers.

 That was the last time I ate graham crackers for years to come.

While the instruction sheet was explicit in describing what I would be experiencing physically and listed cures, such as ice packs and rest – it did nothing for the emotional and mental pain that I would soon begin to experience.

Where was my instruction sheet for this type of discomfort?  What about the sinking feeling in my heart that made me feel, as soon as that evening; regret?

 I was grateful to be able to take more pain meds that night so that I could go on with my life and forget.  Not so much, because after the abortion, I hated myself more than ever. I was a monster.

My tiny apartment overlooked train tracks. There were a few sleepless nights that I would stare out the window at those tracks and wonder how quickly I would die if I were to throw myself at a train. Would I feel any pain? Who would find me? Ultimately the love I had for my two children kept me from ever doing anything other than contemplating taking my own life.

 Since death wasn’t an option – to self-medicate the strong sense of self-loathing, I turned to men, alcohol, and seeking worldly religions. That mindset and cycle left me even emptier than before.  I was spiraling downward.

Late one night a televangelist came on as I was flipping the channels on TV. As I began to fall asleep, I listened to this man speak about love, hope, and how God wants us to trust Him.  He referred to some passages in a book called “Psalms” and frankly, I wasn’t buying it. The next morning I sat in my living room and reflected on what I had heard the night before.  All the talk about trusting Him.  Him who?  God?  I needed to understand this a little more.

 I had this pretty pink Bible that had been given to me as a gift, and because it was so pretty it was functional as a coaster on my end table.  I opened the Bible and began reading Psalms; these beautiful words were pain-filled and yet the underlying tone was this trust for God and what he was doing in this man David’s life.

 I called a friend who had been trying to get me to her church and asked her about “David” and the book of Psalms.  She was elated to give me a mini Bible lesson on King David on how broken he was, yet he was a “Man after God’s own heart”.

 Then came a defining moment for me:  with tear-filled eyes, I looked out the window above those train tracks that often called my name, and said, “If you are really there God – I need you.   I can’t do this alone anymore. I need your help please.”  I was still unsure, but I asked for help if it was there.

 After crying out to God a series of events took place including resigning from a job with only $10 in my bank account and landing a position with a home builder where I was introduced to a man who I would begin dating.

 He asked me to go to church with him for one of our first dates.  I figured, “Yeah, sure, why not.”  I liked him so much that I would have walked across the state in bare feet for him.  Then he explained to me we’d be going to a special service called Maundy Thursday.

 This is a service before Easter Sunday that represents the Last Supper, the night that Jesus breaks bread and drinks wine in communion with his Disciples before He is condemned, beaten, and crucified.  The participants are also invited to share in communion.  When I went up to take part in this, the pastor asked my name, then he said, “Cristina, this is Jesus’ body and blood that has been sacrificed for you.”  I then heard the Gospel presented to me for the very first time.

 I sobbed as the pastor was sharing this deeply beautiful Gospel story. Up until this point, Easter was about colored eggs and bunnies. I had never looked at Easter the way it was being described; the impact of the sacrifice that Jesus was about to make for ME, was so difficult to swallow.  Jesus, this perfect, sinless God, in human form was sent to die to save me.  Could I really be forgiven for EVERYTHING I have done?  Even take a life?  I so wanted to believe that to be true.

 Something was happening.  I wanted to know who Jesus was, who His Father, OUR Father was, and what did this all mean for me.

 My relationship with my boyfriend changed after this; it became deeper and I’d never felt more connected to anyone. We both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  So, four months after we went to church for the first time, David Emigh proposed to me and naturally I said yes.

During the engagement, I was given an opportunity to be baptized as a public profession of faith.  I prayed about it and made the decision to be baptized. It felt like the right next step in choosing to have Jesus lead my life.

 We are asked to prepare a speech to read aloud publicly and during preparation for what I was going to say God clearly revealed to me that I needed to forgive myself for what I had done because He had already forgiven me when I opened my heart to Him.  While preparing – I was convicted.  Convicted that I needed to confess to Him – between Him and me, speaking the words of the feelings that had been consuming me: “Lord, I chose to kill my child.  I took a precious life that was full of potential, for my own selfish purposes.  For this, I am so sorry.”

 The day of my baptism happened to be on the anniversary of the abortion. The transformation was so evident.

 After 2 short months of wedded bliss, we found out our little family was going to increase by one; I was pregnant with our son.

 During this time, a very dear friend called me in tears; she was pregnant and had made an appointment at the local abortion clinic.  I cried along with her while my head was screaming, “No, no, no! You can’t do this; you can’t go through what I went through! Please don’t kill your child.” But those words did not come out, I simply told her things were going to be OK, and I would be here to help her figure things out.

 The Holy Spirit stepped in and reminded me of the Yellow Pages. I  recalled that when I had searched for my abortion provider, I passed a business heading called, “Abortion Alternatives”, but at the time of my abortion, I skipped right past that.

 As I flipped open the phonebook to the “A.s” – Abortion Alternatives was the first listing and the ad read “Unplanned Pregnancy? Need Help?” and bullet points promised help for women with an unplanned pregnancy.

 After speaking with this organization, I was confident that this was a place my friend needed to go.  I immediately called her and gave her the information; she ultimately went to see them and after that, she called to tell me that she saw the ultrasound and she was 11 weeks.  She ended up choosing life and parenting her baby.

At this point, God had already begun to use something that could have destroyed me – for His glory by helping my friend and her unborn child.

 I would go on to volunteer and eventually become the Center Director for that organization. God used my experience and story to help many women choose life for their babies.

 You see, the enemy created the abhorrent and evil procedure of abortion and I know that he thrives on the shame and the guilt that follows a woman after she has made this decision.

 But PLEASE HEAR ME, there is no room in the body of Christ for shame and guilt from the perpetrator or anyone who sits and judges.

 Sometimes I think if there would have been a friend like I was to my friend, would my sweet baby be alive today? But I know that I can take heart when listening, REALLY listening to His Word when Romans 8:28 states: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 I know I will be reunited with my baby one day and I know that he will be proud of the work that I have done because of him.

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Cristina’s story amazing! God works in mysterious ways, and wants to know you and love you. To hear more from Cristina click here!!

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An Abundant Life | Liz La Voie

Last year on New Year’s Day, I sat across from my husband at an IHOP restaurant with my hopes, dreams, and questions ready to discuss our goals. I wanted us to dream big about where we envisioned ourselves in the future - maybe 5 years or even 10 years from now. I tend to romanticize often. His response was practical and kind. He simply mentioned that he wanted to eat his pancakes before thinking about the next five years of life. Then I cried… Right there inside an IHOP. I’m pretty sure the waitress noticed too. Ever experienced this? Maybe not necessarily the part about having a slight meltdown at an IHOP. (Don’t worry. We laugh about it now.) Without a doubt, you have at some point experienced disappointment too. Friend, you’re not alone. If I’m honest, my disappointment was because I felt stuck. I didn’t feel excited or motivated because I felt like I had nothing to “win” or achieve. Classic Enneagram 3 right?! The busiest season of my life was back in 2018 when I was planning my wedding, working two part-time jobs, and pursuing my master’s degree.

Then in 2019, I got married, finished grad school, and moved across the country with my husband. Eventually, I started my first full-time job and was adjusting to this slower pace of life. I felt like a retired person trying to find some sort of newfound purpose or at least a new hobby to keep me busy as usual.  Here’s why I shared that story. The Lord spoke to me through his Word. Psalm 23 starts off with the well-known statement: “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.” Another translation says, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I have what I need.” In John 10, Jesus says that he is the Good Shepherd. He continues by saying that the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 

Sometimes we struggle to discern God’s will and plans for our lives because we’re not really well-acquainted with Jesus’s voice. We can’t really follow if we don’t know how to hear him. But in order to listen, we have to be willing to slow down, quiet all the noise in our lives, and open up the Bible.

Let’s be real. I don’t think I know anyone who truly loves waiting. Most of us don’t really like silence either. And we tend to fill our time with long to-do lists to stay busy and distracted.

We like the sound of abundance right? I like to picture more clothes, more trips to Target, more coffee, more vacations, and more friends. But here’s the truth: Jesus didn’t say that a full schedule or closet is evidence of an abundant life. An excess of anything isn’t really the biblical definition of an “abundant life.” 

An abundant life is all about the fullness of Christ himself. As a follower of Jesus, I am not guaranteed a life without struggles but I am promised a life filled with hope and strength in the midst of the trials. This is living life to the fullest, trusting that Jesus knows best for us so we follow his lead. 

Even if you’re feeling stuck in this season, please know that Jesus loves and cares for us. Maybe the invitation this year is all about surrender, slow growth, more dependence, or more obedience. Yet again, my only resolution for 2022 will be to pursue a life of wholeness over hustling. Will we listen and follow the voice of the Good Shepherd? Friend, I hope you’ll join me. 

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Liz’s story amazing! God wants to meet us at our needs, and Liz demonstrates what it means to be patient. To hear more from Liz click here!!

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Too Busy To Read?| Caroline Lilley

“You can’t read any more until you play outside.”

“Caroline, don’t bring your book in with you.”

These are just some of the things I heard as a child from my frustrated mama. Once I demanded she teach me how to read as a 3-year-old, the poor woman could NOT pull my nose out of books. Where most kiddos would’ve had a toy taken away from them if in trouble, I lost my current read(s).

Welp, these days my mom isn’t around to hold her now adult daughter accountable to being social, responsible, and managing her time. I’m now doing my best to balance a fulltime job, spending time with my husband, caring for our home, hosting a book club, meal planning, yada-yada-yada… I know you get it.

So, honestly, I can’t help but give myself a little pat on the back for wrapping up 2021 with nearly 70 books, “in the books.”

If you’d like to turn more pages and close more covers in the near future, here are 5 tips ‘n tricks that you can try.

Always carry a book with you

I mean this so so literally. Any spare moment is a reading opportunity.

Funny story: my husband and I were out shopping the other night and while he took a bathroom break I stayed put and read a few pages of my book. Did I get some glances from nearby shoppers? Yes. Did it bother me enough to stop? You bet it didn’t!

Informal date nights are one of my favorite times to have a book with me. The moments of waiting to place our orders or for drinks to be delivered are prime page-turning time! I used to take out my phone and scroll the social medias but reading is both satisfying and productive!

I love a bag that’s spacey enough for an average sized book; if that’s not your style, ereaders, apps, and audio books have made keeping your current read with you much easier.

Read multiple books at a time

This one isn’t for everyone, but it can be a game-changer.

When I was in high school – I kid you not – I had a daily schedule to help me read 4 books at a time. I laugh at it now, but I surely do not prefer that reading style anymore. I don’t mind having 2 going at once, though. One is always on my tablet and solely for during my morning run; the other, my “main event,” is for all other times of day and goes everywhere with me.

If you have a long commute, consider dedicating that time to a specific read!

Enjoy it

Not many of us really can say we enjoy chores. That’s why we say things like, “it feels like a chore.” It’s bleh. Not fun. Unless you’re in school, reading shouldn’t feel like that. Being in the mood to read plays a huge role in how much you can do. If you’re loving it you won’t want to stop! If what you feel when you pick it up is dread, don’t do it. Your time is precious and reading should be a pleasant way to spend it. 

That being said, there are those (myself included) who feel the need to finish every book they start. Trust me, it’s a struggle and isn’t always fun. If you give a book its due diligence and keep finding yourself feeling like your time can be better spent elsewhere, give yourself that freedom. It’s all good, friend.

Set a goal

Okay, okay. I know this sounds contradictory to what I just said about not allowing reading to become a chore, but it’s been proven that goals are effective, right?!

If you read 9 books last year, consider setting a goal of 12 this year.

If you want to finish your current read by _____ figure out how many pages/day you should try to complete in order to do that.

Tracking your books is great for motivation. Set a yearly goal and note each book you start-to-finish. There websites and apps that help you do this and will take it even deeper by allowing you to track your progress while reading! I find it so helpful and encouraging to see how I’m doing. 

Prioritize it

Do you know how hard it is to sit down for even 10 minutes without looking at your phone? It’s gross how hard it is. So gross! For me, at least.

DND on phones is a feature from the Lord to help us get things done. If you’d like to read in bed before falling asleep, mute your phone or put it on the far side of the room for half an hour. I bet you’ll be surprised at how much progress you make without the distractions of social media!

If you’re about to sit down and binge Netflix or Hulu until you fall asleep, maybe don’t. Read a book instead! Or try limiting yourself to just an episode or 2 and then crack those pages open.

If you like to listen to some tunes in the shower, change Pandora out for an audio book a few days of the week!

Reading isn’t something that just happens and that TBR pile doesn’t shrink on its own; it takes intentionality. If you choose to begin applying 1 or all of these to your life, I’d recommend doing so slowly. It might take some time for it to become something you do without really thinking about, so be gentle with yourself. Maybe, by the time 2023 is coming into view, you’ll look back and see a lovely pile of books behind you.

Cheers, friend!

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Caroline great, to hear more tips and tricks to manage your time for reading follow her here!!

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Tomorrow will be better: Lessons from Motherhood| Cassie Stroman

“Tomorrow will be better,” I whisper to myself when I finally crawl into bed, ready to shut off my brain for a few precious hours of sleep. Today, I got irritated with the preteen attitude, the mess, the never-ending demanding of my attention from the minute I picked up from school. The stress of work and motherhood wore me down and made me into a person I never want to be. Today, I was the mom who told her child, “Fend for yourself” instead of creating connection. The mom who tucked her child into bed and left the room, instead of sitting on the floor and providing the opportunity to share hopes and dreams. The mom who told her preteen she was acting like a toddler instead of seeing the need behind the behavior. 

As I peeked my head into my child’s room for one last check before going to sleep, I felt overwhelmed with guilt and tears spring to my eyes. I’ve felt this guilt too many times to count in the past weeks, the sting of realizing that instead of helping my child move towards healing, I may have contributed to further hurt. There have been so many days of saying “tomorrow will be better”, then doing the same thing the next day. I find myself praying for help to be a good parent every hour, every minute, every second. Yet here I am, day after day, trying to make tomorrow better because today just didn’t cut it. 

Parenting is one of the most sanctifying experiences of my life. All of my faults and inadequacies are out in the open: my pride, my selfishness, my tendency to become easily irritated when I am inconvenienced. In light of these and many other sins, I am reminded of my desperate need for a Savior. I’ve always needed Jesus and have been striving to be more like Him. For a good amount of time. But parenthood has exposed my weaknesses so much that I find myself running to the promises of the cross more than ever. I cry out, “Give me patience!” as I endure preteen attitudes and slammed doors. I plead, “Give me Your peace!” as I worry about her future. And over and over, I am reminded that I can hand my burdens to Christ- His yoke is easy, and He will help me when I can’t carry this weight on my own. 

As I deal with the ups and downs of raising a child, I can see how God’s responses to His people set an amazing, yet unattainable by our own strength, example for parents. When I find myself irritated as I ask my daughter to pick up the same dirty clothes for the tenth day in a row, I’m reminded of God commanding the people of Israel to now bow down to idols time and time again. I’m reminded of the times I tur back to the same sin over and over, despite the Lord’s direction to make a different choice. When I feel the overwhelming love in my heart for this child, I’m blown away by the fact that there’s a God who loves me even more fiercely. I feel in my soul that there’s nothing my daughter can do to make me stop loving her. If I have that much love for a person, how much more love does God have for me? I know I can never love my child as much as God does. But I know that He is using this time in my life to make me more like Him. As my shortcomings are revealed, I’m given the opportunity to respond in a better way each time. Every whispered “tomorrow will be better” isn’t a wish, but a promise. God is doing a good work in me, and He will continue it to completion. Being a mother provides endless opportunities to die to my selfish desires and become more Christ-like. With every new day, I have the choice to give in to my sinful desires and habits or to lean on God’s strength. “Tomorrow will be better” isn’t just a promise to my daughter; it’s a promise to myself that God will work in me to be the parent my child needs. 

If you’re a parent feeling the endless mom guilt or seeing the constant reminders of your shortcomings, know this: you are not alone. Remember that you are growing and changing just like your child is, and that God chose you to be your child’s parents. He will use parenting to make you more like Him, but also as a reminder of His great love for you. Let the whisper of “tomorrow will be better” carry you forward through the difficult days and lean on His promises. I’m not out of the tough seasons yet, but I’m pretty sure the outcome is worth the sanctification “growing pains” I’m experiencing along the way.

Note from Jeanette- Isn’t Cassie great, to hear more encouraging words from Cassies foster journey follow her here!!

Do you want to write for Jeanettes blog…

Jeanette is so excited to share this news!

Friends of Jeanette!!
Jeanette is so excited to share this news! She has started a space on her blog where friends can write and share their hearts, hobbies, lessons they have learned and, heck, maybe even a recipe or two! These pieces will be showcased on jeanettetapley.com and we will post and promote your writing on Jeanette's instagram, email newsletters, and her other social media platforms.

We are super excited to share other voices and writings in this way because it is just another way to remind us all that we are not alone in anything we do. If we can share your voice and promote your words then we are all just happy to do so!

So here's what I would need from you...

-Submit an original 600-1,200 word essay

-proof read & fully edited

-a bio and headshot

-if you have a specific idea for HOW to share it let me know!

I really want to encourage you to be unique!

Share your heart!

Submit something that you are proud of! (Of course, no plagiarism, please)

Not sure what to write? Here are some ideas:

-Book Review/ Blog post

-Faith and the Bible

-Stories with a life or faith lesson

-Relationships / Friendship / Dating / Marriage

-Motherhood

-Habits

-Delicious Recipes

-Your specific specialty