I think most moms struggle with that little feeling of guilt. Some may feel it when they are working, others while they are working out, or maybe when you are treating yourself to a girls night … or just when sitting in your car before going in. Ya know, its just so quiet in the car, you’re alone, so peaceful, and you know that as soon as you walk in the door the chaos is gonna hit you upside the head. I don’t think “Mom Guilt” is a totally bad thing. I think it can be used a tool in our lives, like a measuring stick instead of a bat that we use to beat ourselves up.
Here are somethings I tend to beat myself up about:
My temper = Mom Guilt
The baseball bat tells me no other mom loses their temper. All the other moms are sweet and well spoken.
Time away from my kids = Mom Guilt
The baseball bat reminds me that in order for me to leave them I have to ask someone else to step in. And this means “inconveniencing” my friends and family, and failing my kids.
My phone = Mom Guilt
Here the baseball bat tells me that other kids are better, smarter, and funnier than mine. Along with the fact that I can easily just swipe right out of reality on any of these social platforms and forget about needing to make dinner.
So obviously the baseball bat is not my friend. It does not build me up. It does not help me. The bat hurts me, and it actually makes me a worse mom, and a lesser version of myself.
If I were to take a measuring stick to these areas of guilt instead I would get this…
My Temper: I know for a fact other moms lose their tempers. I know that I am working on mine…Thanks counseling! I know that I am quick to ask for forgiveness and that my kids often don’t even remember the last time I yelled…I mean asked them to clean their ever loving rooms.
Time Away from my kids: This one is tough for me. I really do hate asking others to step in and watch my kids but you know what?! Jesse and I just got back from a trip yesterday and the kids were gone with friends all weekend and they had the best time. I don’t think they missed us at all! And the best part was the hugs, smiles and kisses we got when we picked them up. Also, the fact that Jesse and I got 3 nights away was magical!
My phone: So I know that I am on it too much. In fact just last night Zeke totally called me out. We finished a movie and I immediately grabbed it, he noticed and said just that. So this is me measuring the fact that, yes, I am on it too much and need to make some changes.
So friends, lets put down our bats and take a step back. We cannot be the best versions of ourselves if we are bloodied and bruised. We can, however, step back and measure ourselves not against one another but measuring ourselves against the moms we want to be. No shame, no guilt just trying everyday to press on and be the best for those we love!
Being alone with this guy helps me to refocus so I can be better for him, me and the three we left at home!