Be The Light PT 1 of Focus On The Family Series
Let’s chat about Family Values! I wanted to share a little more about my family and share some more in-depth stories. I really don’t talk a ton about my life, childhood, and family because I know that my thoughts and feelings are just that. My own. BUT in this season of my work and ministry, I am feeling the call to go deeper with you. And that means, sharing my past!
IT STARTED WITH A LOT OF LOSS
I was raised INSIDE of the church walls, I was raised with some pretty strict rules, some good some super silly (or what I view as silly now as an adult). But really I come from a blended family. My dad Jim passed away when I was just 4 years old. I don’t have a TON of memories of him but the ones I do are very sweet and precious to me. He was a man loved by his sisters and he was fluent in sign language and also grew up in and out of foster care. I don’t know his story which breaks my heart but I know that the path my family (Jesse, me, and the kids) has been heavily influenced by his life.
My mom is a complete rock star having been a widow in her 30s and mom to 3 LITTLE girls, she carried on and took care of us in ways I don't think I will ever fully understand. Enter Denver, my dad, and my two oldest siblings. Making us a blended family of 5 kids. My Dad, Denver is the pastor although ministry runs deep in my family roots. My Grandpa was a bush pilot missionary to villages in Alaska. Meaning he flew his small plane to the remote villages of Alaska to share Jesus with locals. My grandparents also opened their home to people a ton of people making sure they felt safe and loved. My dad, Jim was actually going back to school when he passed away. I think he was going back for some sort of Bible degree. I really love looking back and seeing how mission work or ministry has been woven through the family tree! And not to leave out my mom or any woman in my family… My mom has served alongside my dad as a pastor’s wife now for over 25 years or so.
So when I look back at my family and how I was raised one of the biggest values I see is ministry. Sharing Jesus with others. Being a light in a dark place. Matthew 5:14-15 says,
14 “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
We have to stop hiding our lights under a bush. We have to set our lights up on the lampstand and shine bright for all to see! And yes that’s easier said than done especially when we live in a Digital world where keyboard warriors or bullies are at large and cancel culture doesn’t allow for explanation or overall understanding.
So how can we be lights within our homes and lights in the darkness? How can we let the value of ministry sink deep into our family roots? How can we teach our kids to light when they go out into the world? How can we prepare our hearts to stay strong and not grow weary?
I wish these answers were easy and voila we are set up but I think it’s slow and steady. Within the Tapley home in the last year, we have been doing the work of being really honest and open with our family. It’s not easy especially having to have some harder conversations in sign language but we don’t want to hide what’s happening in the outside world. BUT we also make sure our kids know that our 4 walls are safe. We are fully loved here. They are able to ask questions about race, politics, sex. We try to tie everything back to the Bible. And let me tell you that not easy if we as parents are not IN the bible and are not active members of a church body. How can we know what God’s word says if we are not actively reading it?
OUR ONLY HOPE IS IN THE BIBLE
Last year Titus ( my middle child) was having a rough transition into middle school. He kept saying over and over, “There’s just so many people. It’s so crowded. I get overwhelmed and lost.” And in that, he was feeling overwhelmed in his classes. So we sat down and asked him what bible verse he could look to 1) calm his nerves 2) make him feel strong and 3) help him focus. He told me that his favorite verse is Joshua 1:9.
Have I not commanded you. Be strong and Courageous. Do not be terrified for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go.
He needed this reminded last year. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. He needed to be reminded that the Lord was with him. So what we did is this…we took a sticky note wrote the verse on it and slid it into the back of his id. He has to where his id on a lanyard all day every day at school. We literally strapped the verse at his heart so when he got anxious and overwhelmed he could grab it and hold onto it.
Friend this is our only hope. Gods word. THIS is how we are light in a dark place. This is how we shine bright in our homes, we cover our people with truth and the Bible. It can be as easy as watching veggie tales and singing Bible verses to as awkward as pausing a tv show when a character comes out of the closet to discuss our thoughts feelings and what the Bible says and how we are called to love. We have to put action to our lessons and show our kids, and families what love looks like. Right now it might be SUPER uncomfortable because it looks like we are all more divided than ever. So I want to encourage you to be a peacemaker. Live at peace as best you can. Right now being the light might look like listening more, it might be praying more. It might be being still OR taking loud action. I won’t tell you what being the light SHOULD look like for you but I will tell you for me. I am listening. I am loving my people close to me. I am asking more questions, digging deeper, and talking to my kids about what they see, how they feel, and what they think needs to change in our world.
LEGACY
As I sit here thinking about how I was raised and what I do now I am so thankful for the generations before me that modeled ministry work in big and small ways. I don’t think my grandpa really understands what I do here on the internet. And How I can be doing ministry work on Instagram or meeting you for coffee but I do hope that he sees my work as light in a dark place. I hope that he sees fruit from his time in the mission field. I hope that both my dads see what I do and know that I am following their lead. I hope that my mom and grandma look at me and know because they held their homes together in such beautiful ways I have learned to do the same. Their lights have shown so brightly that I have been able to take from them and shine as well.
So I wanted to start this series off with this…what values do you see from your roots? What is something your family is has passed down?
My family passed down the work and love for ministry. I am here doing this work because of their legacy and I can hope and pray that my 3 kids and their kids will continue on whatever their ministry calling maybe!
You don’t have to fly planes to the middle of the frozen tundra, you don’t have to preach on a stage weekly, you don’t have to start a podcast or share your life with the world you just have to shine for Jesus. Be the light. Show up right where you are today and be the light! Don’t hide your light under a bush, we need to shine together!