✨Thrill Of Hope
I collapsed into bed last night with heaving sobs. I am so full of emotion. Joy with having family in town, tired because there are full days and late nights. Carrying grief as we got the news that a family within our church lost their son, a friend lost her uncle last week and then there's the heaviness of hurt friendships and the prayer for reconciliation and the looming conversations that need to happen to make that even possible.
I told Jesse through my tears, that it doesn't feel like christmas. It feels dark and heavy right now. I don't see or feel the thrill of hope. I feel weary.
So now as I think about the world and the people who were anticipating the coming of Christ, it was a dark time. There was 400 years of silence where God revealed nothing new to His people. I can only imagine the dark winter feelings they must've had then too. They could only remember what was told to them, holding on tight to the promise of the coming Messiah. The thrill of hope. I feel weary. That's just an honest truth. It’s a bummer and I really hate admitting it because I feel like I am lacking, I feel like I am failing. I would rather stuff this feeling way down deep, take a good nap then grab a coffee and move on (umm hello type 9 enneagram), but I can’t. I can’t because this morning I was reminded of this verse, Do not grow weary.
Years after our sweet Messiah came to bring us hope, the new and glorious morning, we were reminded by Paul in Galatians 6 how to love others well, how we need to be carrying burdens for each other, how we will reap what we sow and how we should not grow weary in doing good because there is a harvest coming if we do not give up.
Giving up seems easier but I can’t. I can’t buy into this weariness. Because I know my God has more for me than this. More than this world that is full of hurt, sadness, and sin. My god is a God of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control. He is good, and when I give into weariness I am not relying on Him I am relying on myself and in my own power I am not strong enough. I am weak, and weary. I want to be able to carry burdens and I want to see His goodness shine through this season. I won’t give up.
I don’t know what this season looks like for you. I hope it is finding you full and well. But if it’s not, if you are carrying some burdens that are heavy, if you are weary, know you are not alone. Let’s meet together at the manger. Our hope is there. Our sweet Savior is there to remind us that He Is Hope. He Is Truth.
The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees.
Here's something I am going to do…I am going to run over to YouTube and listen to O HOLY NIGHT and I am going to worship. I am going to draw near to the Lord, because He says He will do the same. (James 4:8) and I am going to hold on to Psalm 30:5 Joy is coming.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.
PSALM 30:5 MESSAGE VERSION
